Stepping into the whirlwind of college life, where new faces and endless social events abound, can feel overwhelming when burdened by social anxiety. This may be especially true for students attending college in Philadelphia, where the busting environment and social scene may post a challenge for students navigating social anxiety. Some teens may already be experiencing social anxiety before starting college, while others may develop social anxiety during their college years.
Social anxiety – characterized by an intense fear of social situations, concerns about being judged, and avoidance behaviors – impacts individuals at different stages of their academic journey, from incoming freshmen to those currently in college. Research shows that 36% of college students experience anxiety (American College Health Association, 2023). What causes social anxiety? The answer is complex, there are biological, social, and environmental factors that may contribute to someone developing social anxiety.
However, what we know is that much of college life revolves around interacting with others, and this increased rate of social interaction coupled with a new environment may leave many college students feeling socially anxious. There are a number os new experiences in college that may be challenging for young adult with social anxiety, such as making new friends, attending social events, becoming involved in extracurriculars, the expectation of class participation and presentations, group assignments, and dating opportunities.
At our practice in Philadelphia, we’ve worked with numerous students struggling with social anxiety. Whether you’re attending Temple, Drexel, UPenn, St. Joe’s, La Salle, or one of the other excellent colleges in the city, with the right strategies and support you can overcome your social anxiety and succeed in and out of the classroom. In this blog, we aim to provide practical guidance for college students and their parents in navigating social anxiety, offering strategies for managing symptoms, fostering resilience, and promoting success.
Starting College with Social Anxiety: Strategies for Success
Starting college is a big transition, filled with excitement, anticipation, nervousness, and yes – anxiety. For those struggling with social anxiety, this time may be especially daunting. You may be asking yourself, “how am I going to cope with anxiety in college?” or “everyone is going to think I’m so weird, how will I make friends?” Acknowledging anxiety and having a plan to cope with these and similar concerns is essential for a smooth transition. There are a few important ways to help yourself cope with your social anxiety during the move to college.
1. Prepare
Even before you step foot on campus, there are ways to help manage your social anxiety symptoms. If you can, go to campus early and familiarize yourself with the environment, figure out where your classes are, where the dining hall is, and how to use the buses. Social anxiety thrives during times of uncertainty, and this is one way to reduce some of the uncertainty and help you feel more prepared. It’s also important to look ahead towards goals and opportunities. Sometimes, anxiety results in us filtering out the good and focusing on the bad. Remember that even when managing social anxiety, college is an opportunity for personal, academic, social and emotional growth, and is a chance to make long lasting friendships.
2. Set Realistic Expectations
You may be thinking, “College is a new setting, and maybe my social anxiety will go away since I’m not in high school anymore?” While that would be great, it’s likely that social anxiety will persist in this new setting. Allowing yourself to accept that you may feel anxious is important. It’s also important to set realistic expectations of how you can interact socially in the first few days. You may not feel comfortable knocking on a random door in your hall and seeing if the person wants to have lunch, but you may feel comfortable initiating a conversation with the person who sits next to you in Biology. Setting daily, small achievable goals for social interactions can help set you up for success. Remember, it’s okay to take things one step at a time.
3. Use Social Strategies
The idea of navigating social interactions in a new environment may make you feel stressed. There are a few practical strategies that can help you ease into social interactions when you first get to campus. Practicing active listening and asking open-ended questions can help you have a productive conversation with a new classmate or roommate. Attending campus events, club meetings, or activities (even if it makes you feel anxious!) can help you meet like-minded peers. Keep in mind that everyone is in the same boat, trying to make connections and find their place.
Kim's Successful First Week: An Example
To illustrate some of these challenges and strategies, let’s take a look at the story of Kim’s experience. Kim was an 18-year-old, college freshman at Drexel University. She had social anxiety for several years and had been receiving treatment for about eight months. She told her therapist, “I am so anxious to start college. What if no one likes me? What if I make a fool of myself? I think it may be best if I stay in my room for the first two weeks and only go to class.” Kim was feeling overwhelmed.
Kim’s therapist and her discussed a plan for the first week of school. First, Kim went to campus and found where the psychology building was located. She felt a bit more comfortable knowing that she would be able to navigate to her first class. Next, Kim set the goal of in each of her classes, talking to the person sitting next to her and asking them where they are from. Lastly, Kim reminded herself to nod her head when she was talking to her classmates to show that she was listening.
Kim had an extremely successful first week. She spoke to one person in each of her classes and learned that her biology lab partner lives in the same town as her cousins, and the two of them even went to lunch together after class. By preparing and setting specific goals for the first few weeks of college, Kim was able to engage with others and begin forming friendships, even while feeling socially anxious.
Current College Students: Skills and Strategies for Social Anxiety
Another important aspect to identify is avoidance. When faced with potentially difficult social situations such as class presentations, group dinners, or collaborative projects, do you find yourself wanting to avoid them? Sometimes, it may seem easier to tell your professor you’re sick, cancel plans, or work independently on projects. However, avoidance only perpetuates anxiety. Instead, there are skills you can employ to help you approach, rather than avoid, social situations.
Navigating social anxiety while in college can be challenging, leading to questions like, “Why am I so anxious?” or “What skills can I use to cope with anxiety in college?” To effectively utilize coping skills, it’s important to understand the symptoms that accompany your anxiety. When you’re in a social situation, you probably notice the anxiety in your body – maybe your palms are sweaty or your heart is racing – these signs can help alert you that you need to use a skill or strategy to help reduce your symptoms of anxiety.
Another important aspect to identify is avoidance. When faced with potentially difficult social situations such as class presentations, group dinners, or collaborative projects, do you find yourself wanting to avoid them? Sometimes, it may seem easier to tell your professor you’re sick, cancel plans, or work independently on projects. However, avoidance only perpetuates anxiety. Instead, there are skills you can employ to help you approach, rather than avoid, social situations.
1. Use Cognitive-Behavioral Techniques (CBT)
CBT is a widely used approach for helping folks manage social anxiety, and it’s a treatment we use often in our clinic. Often, folks with social anxiety have negative thoughts about social situations, such as assuming that everyone else is judging or rejecting them. It’s important to notice that these are thoughts, not facts and challenge these beliefs. You can challenge these thoughts by practicing cognitive restructuring techniques, such as identifying and questioning negative thoughts. You can examine the evidence for and against these beliefs (e.g., is there evidence that everyone has rejected you?). You can even test the thought through planned out experiments. This can help you to have a more balanced and realistic perspectives and reduce the intensity of your social anxiety.
2. Expose Yourself to Social Situations
Feeling confident in social situations is a gradual process that requires practice. As mentioned above, social anxiety may make you want to avoid certain situations. Avoidance helps anxiety to feel better in the short term, but not in the long term. Instead, gradually expose yourself to social situations that make you feel anxious; start with less intimidating scenarios and gradually increase the difficulty. For example, you may decide to start by asking a question in front of only a few people in your ultimate frisbee club, and then build up to asking a question during your philosophy class. After each social situation ask yourself, “what did I learn from this experience? What does this tell me about myself, other people, or my capabilities?” Remember, exposing yourself to social situations will allow your to consistently approach anxiety instead of avoiding it will help to reduce your symptoms.
3. Self-Care
Taking care of your emotional health is just as important as taking care of your physical health. Establish a routine that prioritizes sleep, exercise, balanced meals, and time to decompress. Mindfulness and meditation exercises such as practicing mindfully participating in interactions, body scans or , progressive muscle relaxation, may help to strengthen your emotional health. Mindfulness isn’t a one size fits all model, you may have to try a few activities to see which helps you the most. Many folks with social anxiety find that externally focusing their attention though outwardly mindfulness practices (e.g., being present in the moment) is especially helpful.
4. Line Up Social Interactions
Whether you’re starting college or returning after the summer break, lining up social interactions and making friends before you head to campus can be helpful. Try to make friends with your roommate(s), get in touch with anyone you might know who is going to the same college – even if you don’t know them well, join organizations, clubs, or sports teams that appeal to your interests and hobbies.
5. Seek Professional Treatment
If you’re having a hard time managing your social anxiety, don’t hesitate to reach out for treatment. We have worked with countless college students, just like you, who want to take their life back from social anxiety. To learn more about social anxiety and related topics, check out our blog posts on overcome your anxiety, dating with social anxiety, supportive statements for anxious children, guiding anxious children through fear, and self-compassion for anxiety disorders.
Jamies's Success Story: An Example
Succeeding despite social anxiety
To illustrate some of these challenges and strategies, let’s take a look at the story of Kim’s experience. Kim was an 18-year-old, college freshman at Drexel University. She had social anxiety for several years and had been receiving treatment for about eight months. She told her therapist, “I am so anxious to start college. What if no one likes me? What if I make a fool of myself? I think it may be best if I stay in my room for the first two weeks and only go to class.” Kim was feeling overwhelmed.
Kim’s therapist and her discussed a plan for the first week of school. First, Kim went to campus and found where the psychology building was located. She felt a bit more comfortable knowing that she would be able to navigate to her first class. Next, Kim set the goal of in each of her classes, talking to the person sitting next to her and asking them where they are from. Lastly, Kim reminded herself to nod her head when she was talking to her classmates to show that she was listening.
Kim had an extremely successful first week. She spoke to one person in each of her classes and learned that her biology lab partner lives in the same town as her cousins, and the two of them even went to lunch together after class. By preparing and setting specific goals for the first few weeks of college, Kim was able to engage with others and begin forming friendships, even while feeling socially anxious.
Parents: Supporting Your College Students with Social Anxiety
As a parent, you probably have mixed feelings of your own around your child leaving for college. You may be feeling excited for them, worried, sad their leaving home, and many other emotions. It’s likely that you’ve helped your child navigate social anxiety for the last several years. Throughout college, you play an important role in supporting your child. By fostering open and honest communication, creating a safe space for your child to express themselves, and offering practical assistance such as connecting your child to care, you can help them flourish in college.
1. Emotionally Support, Encourage, and Empower
Providing your child with a supportive non-judgmental environment where they can discuss their emotions and fears will help them to feel comfortable communicating their difficulties and asking you for support. It’s also important to celebrate your child’s success and milestones – no matter how small. For someone with social anxiety, going to class, staying the whole time, and taking a few notes can be hard, recognize that they accomplished something difficult. While you may feel pulled to help problem solve for your child, empowering them to navigate challenges on their own is critical. Encourage them to be independent while providing support as needed. For more information on this topic, check out our blog post on supportive statements for anxious young adults
2. Provide Practical Assistance
Your child may need help finding treatment options, support groups, or receiving academic accommodations for students with social anxiety. You can work, in a collaborative way, alongside your child to help them develop an action plan for receiving treatment and support.
3. Stay Connected
Chat regularly with your child through phone calls, FaceTime, or text. Not every conversation needs to focus on their social anxiety symptoms, it’s okay to just chat with them! When your child is struggling, regular communication can help show your support.
4. Find Support
Supporting a child with social anxiety can be challenging, and parents sometimes need help too. It can be tough to balance encouragement and support while not exacerbating anxiety symptoms. Additionally, parents might find themselves dealing with anxiety of their own. It’s important for parents to reach out for support, whether through professional help, support groups, or resources designed for caregivers.
Supporting a child with social anxiety as they navigate college is filled with challenges and opportunities for growth. As a parent, your role is essential in providing emotional support, encouragement, and practical assistance. By fostering open communication, celebrating successes, and empowering your child to navigate their challenges independently, you can help them build resilience and flourish in their college experience. Stay connected, stay supportive, and together, you and your child can overcome the obstacles of social anxiety.
Conclusions
Navigating social anxiety in college presents a unique set of challenges, but with the right strategies and support, students can overcome these obstacles and thrive. Whether it’s through understanding social anxiety or using practical coping skills, there are ways to effectively manage social anxiety and achieve success in and out of the classroom. With awareness, empathy, and proactive measure – such as seeking treatment – students can feel empowered to overcome social anxiety and reach their full potential.
For more insights on anxiety and to explore various therapy options, we encourage you to connect with us and become a part of our social media community. Follow our updates on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn, and explore additional anxiety resources in our other anxiety blog pots. Share this guide to support individuals and their loved ones on their personal journeys with OCD.
This blog was brought to you by Allie Bond MA and Daniel Chazin PhD ABPP
