Guiding Anxious Children Through Fear: A Parent’s Guide to Parent-Assisted Exposures and DADS Skills

Mother supporting anxious child through play, illustrating DADS skills in managing childhood anxiety.

Navigating Childhood Anxiety with DADS Skills

Parenting an anxious child often feels like navigating a maze blindfolded, especially when trying to find the best ways to support them. You might find yourself asking, “How can I support my child in facing their fears?” or “What can I do to encourage my child to engage with their anxieties in a healthy way?” Understanding the role of exposures in managing anxiety and OCD is a crucial piece of this puzzle.

Exposures, a key component of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), involve gradually and systematically encouraging your child to face their fears, rather than avoid them. This process helps children learn through experience that their fears may not be fully accurate and that they are capable of coping with anxiety and distress. It’s about building resilience and showing them that they can manage their fears, even when it feels overwhelming. Parent-assisted exposures are a core component of anxiety therapy for children, especially younger ones.

The Value of Parent-Assisted Exposures

Child ready to tackle anxiety with parents' support, demonstrating exposure therapy in action.

Exposures are crucial because they confront the avoidance behaviors that fuel anxiety and OCD, allowing children to learn through direct experience. By facing their fears in a controlled and manageable manner, children discover that the outcomes of anxiety-provoking situations are often not as dire as they feared. Through exposure, they acquire new ways of thinking about what they fear and learn that they’re capable of coping with whatever arises, gradually reshaping their perceptions and emotional responses. Such empowerment lays the groundwork for enduring change.

As a parent, your involvement is key. You may question how to effectively encourage your child to face their fears, particularly when their natural inclination is to avoid them. This is precisely where the DADS skills come into play.

Integral to the CALM program, which is an adaptation of Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT), DADS skills serve as a source of hope. Grounded in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), these techniques offer a well-structured approach for children to confront their fears through guided exposure and supportive play. This method fosters significant transformation for children dealing with conditions such as OCD, social anxiety, separation anxiety, specific phobias, or generalized anxiety.

Understanding DADS Skills: A Toolkit for Empowering Children

Parent guides child, showcasing parent-guided exposure and DADS skills for managing anxiety.

DADS stands for Describe, Approach, Direct command, and Selective attention. This sequential method supports children in facing their fears with parental guidance, emphasizing the importance of step-by-step exposure to feared situations. Such parental involvement in exposure sessions is a key part of CBT for anxious children, especially younger ones, offering essential support as they gradually learn to face and manage their anxieties.

    • Describe: The parent describes the feared situation with neutral, observational statements. For example, when facing a child’s fear of unfamiliar people, you might say, “A woman came into the room. She is wearing a red sweater. She is sitting close to where we are playing.” This helps the child attend to the situation and focus on what is actually happening, rather than on their fears.
    • Approach: The parent models brave behavior by approaching the feared situation, demonstrating coping and safety. This action reassures the child that their fear can be managed and that their parent is confidently facing the situation alongside them.
    • Direct Command: A clear, precise command is given to the child to engage with the feared situation. This command is specific, like “Please say hello to Irene,” directing the child’s action without ambiguity.
    • Selective Attention: Commit to staying with your child in the situation, offering support and selective attention to encourage brave behavior. If the child hesitates, the parent states their intent to remain in the situation and then focuses attention on the child’s attempts to approach the feared situation. Ignoring avoidant behaviors, the parent reinforces any brave steps the child takes.

Comparing DADS and PRIDE Skills

DADS skills are just one set of tools in your parenting arsenal for aiding an anxious child. Alongside DADS, PRIDE skills also play a crucial role in the CALM program and promoting brave behavior. While DADS equips parents with structured, directive strategies for encouraging children to face anxiety-provoking situations, PRIDE skills (Praise, Reflect, Imitate, Describe, Enjoy) center around using positive attention and active ignoring to reinforce brave behaviors and minimize reinforcement of avoidant behaviors through play interactions, usually led by the child.

In the broader CALM framework designed to support families in navigating childhood anxiety, these nurturing, child-led interactions typically precede more structured exposure tasks.In fact, the DADS skills are often described as a house and PRIDE skills as the
foundation on which the house is built. This is because it is the PRIDE skills that provide
the structural base that allows the DADS skills to be successful.

For a more detailed exploration of PRIDE skills and how they complement the DADS approach, check out our blog post: Empowering Anxious Children Through Play: A Parent’s Guide to PRIDE Skills.

Combining DADS and PRIDE skills gives parents a full set of tools to help their child bravely face their fears, laying a strong base for overcoming anxiety.

Implementing DADS Skills in Play: Nurturing Bravery and Resilience

Integrating DADS into play involves a delicate balance of encouraging bravery while ensuring the child feels supported. Through describing, approaching, commanding, and selectively attending during play, parents can create a nurturing environment where children learn to manage their anxieties actively.

Seeking Professional Guidance with Anxious Children: Understanding When It’s Needed

Implementing exposures and DADS skills at home can be a powerful step in supporting your child. However, professional guidance can further enhance this process, providing tailored strategies to meet your child’s unique needs. If you’re interested in exploring how therapy can support your family, we invite you to reach out to our center. Our specialists have expertise in providing personalized, evidence-based CBT strategies for children and families dealing with a range of anxiety and related disorders.

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Exploring Further: Resources and Support for Families of Anxious Children

For more insights into supporting anxious children and learning about our therapy options, we invite you to connect with us. Follow us on Facebook and Twitter. Discover more about anxiety disorders we treat, information for parents and families and children needing anxiety therapy or therapy for obsessive compulsive and related disorders, and consultations services for treatment providers, schools, and organizations. Check out our other blog posts for more resources and share this guide with others who might find it helpful.

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